The Interview
August 21st, 2008 by Wen
So, in lieu of actual content with photos (blog still borked, Pete still ignoring me) I give you the interview with The Boy…
Wen: I’m going to interview you for my blog
Boy: Right now? *Sigh*.
W: Do you need a moment? Should I call your agent?
Boy: Um… No. I… I just had a long day in court!
W: As an alternate juror for half a day!
Boy: But there was no Wi-fi!
W: What’s your favorite thing about my knitting?
Boy: That it makes you happy.
W: Anything else?
Boy: You said favorite, not favorites.
W: What is your least favorite thing about my knitting?
Boy: (thinks) Oh! Um, that it’s everywhere?
W: What is something I have knitted that you recall as being good?
Boy: I like them all. The cashmere scarf and the million dollar gloves. I could go on and on.
W: Please do.
Boy: No. I’m done now.
W: Do you think knitters have an expensive hobby?
Boy: Yes!
W: Do you have any hobbies?
Boy: No!
W: What are your hobbies?
Boy: What did I just say? Clearly one of your hobbies is not listening to your boyfriend!
W: La la la la. What? Can I put hookers and cocaine?
Boy: Um, okay.
W: If we compared money spent on hobbies, who would win?
Boy: (he gives me the look) Is this almost over?
W: No. What about gambling and those hookers who were here?
Boy: Those were legitimate business expenses, and by the way, they prefer to be called “escorts”
W: Has my knitting in public ever embarrassed you?
Boy: No.
W: Do you know my favorite kind of yarn?
Boy: No.
W: Okay, what’s my eye color?
Boy: (crickets) Your areola color? A perfect hue of peach!
W: Summer peach?
Boy: (crickets)
W: Can you name another knit blog?
Boy: Is Ravelry considered a blog? (shugs shoulders)
Boy: I have a question for you: who’s the starting quarterback of the Washington Redksins?
W: Isn’t it Carson Palmer?
Boy: Um. No.
Boy: Oh and by the way, that counts as a hobby
W: Really?
Boy: hmmmph!
W: Do you mind that I want to go to yarn stores everywhere we go?
Boy: No, not if they are conveniently located next to strip bars.
W: Do you understand the importance of a swatch?
Boy: I had one once and it ticked so loud I couldn’t wear it anymore.
W: Do you read Slowknitter?
Boy: I would if you would post more than bi annually!
W: *blinks*
W: Have you ever left a comment?
Boy: No. Because I’m only known by my super-hero knitting blog identities.
W: So if you were to comment that would blow your cover?
W: Do you think the house would be cleaner if I didn’t knit?
Boy: (sadly) No.
Boy: (brightens) Mabil’s coming tomorrow, right?
W: Is there anything you would like to add in closing?
Boy: Um. I want that scarf
W: Scarf? What scarf?
Boy: The one you promised to make me
W: Was I naked when I promised you this “scarf”?
Boy: No! If you were naked when you were promising me a scarf I wouldn’t have remembered the scarf!
Boy: You promised me a grey or black one
W: I haven’t found the right yarn
Boy: Well now it’s fresh in your brain again so you can get right on that.
W: mmm hmm. Anything else?
Boy: No, I think this “yarn’ has gone on long enough. I’m going to watch shot put.
W: (groan) Shot put?
Holy crap! You ARE alive!
Gotta say, LOVE the interview. Yell vagina at him for me when you’ve got a chance, k?
And tell him we want a good bewbie pic too…one that’s not all blurry and does justice to the girls
This is the best interview I’ve read!
You’re launching your celebrity gossip blog soon, right? Right? Air kisses to you and the boy.
VAGINA!! (Sorry, but I have to take my chance to yell out vagina as much as possible.)
Also - Paul Rudd is American cinema’s greatest gift.
Uh huh.
He wins the award for the Most Creative Mishearing of “Eye,” hands-down.
Or should I say, hands-up…
So this is the best one yet.